the cosmic harmonies never ends....

2009-02-08T11:50:00.002+08:00

Learning a new gz piece for exam! It's so much more challenging.
Some of my friends like to think that guzheng pieces are easy to play and Eastern instruments are not on par with the Western ones. I am inclined to disagree. There are so many techniques and skills to master and many different ways of playing the same instrument. I'm not taking a biased POV here.I was a clarinet-ist then.

P tells me that i should just let it be and move on. What's in it when there's no longer trust? She's been through it already. She said it's pointless to hang on. It will never change. Okay.

Got to go and practise guzheng already. I don't believe i can't make it there if i work harder.
We shall run the race together, N!

2009-02-03T19:47:00.003+08:00

I've come to a point whereby i can't be bothered with many things.
By that, i don't mean stuff associated with responsibility.Nothing of that sort.
I'm still committed to being a responsible blah blah blah...like i always try to be.

Thanks to Meigi and Brenda, time spent with the class became bearable. Though i must say, we did get very annoyed sometimes with them.

I've learnt to accept that this is something you will never change. I still want to believe that the exasperation and annoyance you've shown is due to the fact that you are tired. Still, I will take things in my stride. Afterall, what is there that i cannot let go now after what i've been through to find release then?

Thanks for asking what's wrong with me, stranger. I'm fine. At least, i know i'll be in a matter of time. Those tough times will only make me stronger and more durable to the next.

2009-01-31T23:59:00.003+08:00

I feel lighter nowadays.
Perhaps in a way or another, I've learnt to appreciate and see things better.
It's funny sometimes, how people seemed to think that they are so smart at hiding stuff from others, when the truth is that they aren't that so really.
Oh well, no point ruining it.
Whatever. I'm happy in my own little world. Hahas.

Aren't you happy for me?

2009-01-28T19:20:00.003+08:00

A trip back certainly does wonders. I feel as if i've taken a calming draught.My heart is in a state of tranquility, for now at least. Those things that used to make me panic and uptight seemed so insignificant now. Guess I've somehow found a channel to flush them away. I'm no longer bothered by them.

Her eyes always seemed to gaze so far away.A memory, maybe.
It seemed that she didnt have many more moments to spare.
The need to connect is so intense.
It's can be anytime now. So she told me.
I insisted that she stop talking about it. I told her she must wait for me to graduate from university.I want her to be there for me, watching me as i take the first step into the working society. It can be anytime now. She repeated.
I told her no. I told her she must wait for me.
She's not to leave me behind. I'm afraid.
Give me more time. There's only so much i can do now.
I still want to learn your culinary skills.
I want to grow up faster.

I'm still fortunate. I got to spend some time talking to her. Just the two of us.
Sadly, I'm probably the only one who finds time is precious with her. Or so it seemed.
The rest just didnt make the effort to connect.
It's probably why i've found the closure i needed.
I've realised that there's many things that matters more and are waiting for me to accomplish them. I shouldn't be wasting time trapped in petty stuff.
I've caught sight of the track again.
It was her who guided me back.
It was her that i know so much about my roots.
It was her who helped me paint the picture of what it was like back in old times.

Yes, i will make it come true. I promise you.
Just wait for me. 4years.That's all i asked for.

2009-01-22T19:21:00.005+08:00

I want it to stop. Wrong. I need it to stop.

Can't anyone see it?I'm on the verge of losing my sanity already.
I just want someone to be there for me when bad things happen.
Tell me that it's all going to be okay, not just making superficial remarks.
Why is it that i always have to face it alone?
I'm only human. I am not made of metal.
I thought i can pull through it myself. Turns out i was just deluding myself all along.
Things are NOT okay.

I hate to be weak. Can't anyone see that all along, I am never truly happy?
It's just so tough that i no longer understand why i do the things i do.

I don't want to go for the ocip trip with t14. I'll just go mad if i have to.
Leave me alone,you people.Pretend i don't exist.
Isnt that what you guys are most capable of? Pretense?
Keep on pretending. Let me breathe.
It's been such a long time already. My oxygen ran out long ago.

The song is an expression of exactly how i feel right now. Every word of it.

Please,someone. Do something.

2009-01-21T15:52:00.002+08:00

I did it before and I'm sure i can do it again.
You just need more time than i do each time.
But i'm sorry, even though you'll never see this post,
i'm going to say a silent goodbye here.
Things got messy and I can't clear it up by myself.
And it definitely sucks to be stuck in such a situation.
I'm not running away,but i've done what i could.
Things will be what it will be in time to come.
Thank you for those little things you've done.I truly appreciate them.

Goodbye.

2009-01-17T13:12:00.002+08:00

First week of school:

I'm still in T14. William and Jacon asked if i was sad. I just smiled.

I'm still the DC. Mdm Phang refused to let me step down.

I've got more breaks as compared to last year. More study periods for me.

I've never felt so high when it's physics lesson.

On top of all that, the boys were bearable up till now. I hope it stays this way.

Things were not as bad as I thought it will be. Though sometimes, there's still this tingling feeling biting me from the inside.

2009-01-01T19:33:00.002+08:00

While everyone was busy celebrating the arrival of 2009, there i was, on the phone with N, talking about many things in our lives. I guess as we grow up, we see others so much better. Those who are truly our friends and those who are just in for a fun ride. As we talk about those stuff that made us mad and those that we have given a proper closure to, we realised that friends who have yet to brave storms and break walls with us are ultimately not the ones who look for when we need someone to be there for us. We've had our worst times, yet, despite all that, we've found each other again.

Are you sure you want to be a nun?hahas.Coz i'll miss you if you really do.

The challenges of 2009, here i come, with a nun-wannabe by my side! hahas.

2008-12-27T18:18:00.003+08:00

I know what I have to do already. Just waiting for everything to fall in place. I'm sorry if it doesn't sound comforting enough.

Thank you N for helping me today.

Big thanks to N and Jacon for the X'mas cards and those who took time to sms me.

One down.One more to go.

2008-12-25T19:58:00.002+08:00

Shopping spree again!

Mum bought me pretty dresses from Vivo City. 5 in total.heh.All for 2009's CNY. I feel kinda bad because they cost a bomb. Mum bought for brother too. Just yesterday, she bought us X'mas gifts from Bugis. Watches! Oh well, i feel blessed despite the many unhappy stuff that i have to go through now. Mum showers us with lots of things to make up for...Well,at least it balances my brother and myself in a way. Mum knows it too,i guess?Fufilling our material needs and wants?But i hardly ever want expensive stuff,it's just that ...I would trade it for...(shan't say it here)

Come to think of it,I'm just about a dress person nowadays.I keep buying dresses. Soon,you'll keep seeing me in nothing else but a dress, a dress and yet a dress. The thing is,I do love dresses. They make me feel happy.

Merry X'mas!

2008-12-11T14:32:00.002+08:00

My room looks so different now. I'm not used to the new arrangement yet so I kinda have trouble sleeping last night, especially with the new bed sheets.It's no wonder i hardly like to change my room setting. It's going to take some time to get used to this.

I suppose today is going to pass again in a blur and i have no intention of doing anything else other than doing what i feel like doing. Nowadays are mostly about what i want to do and just a little of what i should be doing. Come to think of it, I'm someone who divides the right things to do and things that gives me a choice.Fair trade.

Studying season is almost fully in. Just the other day, my mum and brother were discussing how stupid teenagers nowadays are in an article of the chinese newspaper.Taking their lives because they are not performing in school and stuff. Oh well, my take is that they didnt just kill themselves because they are not performing in school, they kill themselves because they fall below their expectations and that of others. If you worked hard for something you want alot and come to realise that you didnt get it and that those around you who kept babbling about how they can't do it, talks about how they may need your help and in the end, they are the ones who get it. How would you feel? I hate such people. No wonder the teenager want to commit suicide. What lousy friends he have. It's as good as using him to your benefit only. Someday, people is going to realise it you know, be it now or later, no matter how honeyed you have coated your words with. They know already but they just didnt say.

2008-11-29T18:51:00.002+08:00

I've decided to remove my previous posts so that I will not be reminded of the nasty incident every time i view my blog. I figured that you guys wouldn't want to read them either.

Okay.So I'm back to my normal self again. Intensive SYF practices are coming up. I want nothing less than a Gold for 2009's SYF. It can be done people!Just stop slacking and turn up for every practice like i do. Because it's tough for me or anyone to lead the ensemble when people are absent. The cut is coming though. Good luck to the slackers.

2008-11-23T20:33:00.002+08:00

Shopping spree!

Finally bought the dress for the upcoming wedding dinner that i have to attend. I like it alot.I also bought two new year dresses.hahahs.

My distinction for the upcoming guzheng exam is gone. Apparently, the examiner never give any Dist before and is really...Oh well,I'll aim for 85/100. This is enough to make me happy! Just hope she doesn't stop me here and there while i'm playing my pieces(smth she's been known to do for every exam) because this will piss me off.

I love my guzheng so much. I don't know how i'll live without it.

Wish me luck on wednesday!My exam is in the afternoon at 3pm.

2008-11-21T20:35:00.002+08:00

My latest attempt to make myself feel better just failed. I'm just feeling horrible.God knows why. Speaking of which.I think i asked for a reaction, God. How come you send me a message filled with missing letters and ancient language?Can you please point me in a good direction?yes,good.

Rachel isnt free to talk right now. There's no one who i can relate to that i can talk to now. You don't have to feel bad, rachel. I know you people have a different style of life compared to mine.

Practice practice practice! That's what spurs me on nowadays. To work hard to guzheng,be it for school or for exam. My brother just shared the most "wonderful" news. According to him, the grand prize for a DISTINCTION in the upcoming guzheng exam is a laptop of our choice. It applies to both of us separately.This means that if we each get a new laptop if we both get Dist.
I was like...I was actually aiming for merit you know?hah.

See how it goes.There's lesson tmr. See what my instructor have to say about my performance tmr.

I'll say this in advance.
PS: Happy Birthday Nella dear! You are finally 17.hahas.

2008-11-13T21:50:00.002+08:00

New template!

I saw Nella's post today.Something i said to her about her being un-nella-ish.hahas.
Oh well, sometimes we just do stuff which are so "not our style",isn't it?

I miss those days we spent as if the weight of life didnt seemed to affect us.
I guess it's true that as we grow up, things starts to complicate and eventually, leaves us wondering why we even want to grow up in the first place.heh.No wonder Peter Pan doesn't want to grow up.

Sometimes i hate your guts, i really do. Babbling about something and then disappear?Oh well,that's definitely not a wise choice,eh?

I'm tired from all this nonsense. I don't need add-ons. I'm sick of hearing many many times that all along I'm just there to fill up the empty space left behind by some other person and talking to me as if i'm a pathetic stray. This has to stop somehow. It's not healthy for me.

Back to my previous post. Sometimes i don't really know what i want. I thought i got over it already. It is recently, well today, that i realised that all i did was to chuck it away. The problem is, it's still there! Goodness..If this goes on, it'll probably cloud my judgement and i'll start to make silly decisions.

Hmm...I think i just want a reaction.Yep, a reaction strong enough to point me in the right direction.

It's been a year since Lucky was dog-napped. Hahas. What a nice year it has been for him.Love you darling!

2008-11-08T17:42:00.002+08:00

The person i want to talk to isnt here.
The person who should be talking isnt here.
The person who can be here simply isnt here.

Who else is left?

Enough with the act. I only believe what i see and how i feel.All i know is that we are oceans apart and i have an utter lot of bad luck with me to spare.

2008-10-24T21:28:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to make of this. What i found out made me realised that things are more complicated than what i originally thought it was. I'm so disturbed now. It is crazy to see things from your perspective. While i'm relieved to have known the truth, it saddened me that you kept me from knowing what i consider is my right.

I guess you just helped me to make up my mind.

Thank you M, for being there all this while, providing me with the support i needed & being a great listener. Thank you for always filling up the empty space that some idiots dug out. Thank you for wanting to help me get back at those pathetic and literally useless guys in my class.Thank you for being my source of comfort.

2008-10-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

I saw your post,dear. I must say, I'm touched to tears. You know me,I'm never the kind who pours her emotions so readily. Thank you for wanting to be there with me to share my feelings.

Tomorrow is a long day to get by. I can't guarantee if i'll survive in one piece, but i'll do my best.

I love you Rachel Maria, just for being the great friend you are.

2008-10-13T18:51:00.002+08:00

It feels like a long lost dream. Is that it?
Have i been deluding myself right from the start?
I can't go through this torture. I make must it come true.I must.

2008-10-09T18:47:00.002+08:00

I came to remind you something.
You enjoyed your day at the expense of trampling on those friends who stood by you for so long. I feel so betrayed.
I put my heart and effort to help you in anything you need and this is what i get in return?

You've moved on, so have I. So should i say we have moved on?

When you lose them,you'll lose them forever.Goodbye.

2008-09-24T19:10:00.003+08:00

GP: I'm getting the hang of it.It's not that hard after you master the skills.mwahha.

My physics is still hanging by the tip of the sword as usual.But, hey, I really did try to master it.Oh well, I'll perserve till the end!I will not be looked down upon by some self-arrogant idiots.

I made a good comeback today when some idiot crushed my effort like rubbish. The look on his face was priceless.It's too bad that i didnt capture it on camera. PTN: You don't get way just like that when you mess with me.I'm no pushover.

Other than that, just a few more weeks and promos will be over(though some are already holiday-ing.Poor me!).

Good luck to all who are still preparing for their promos! I'll be rooting for you all.

2008-09-05T20:22:00.003+08:00

Mr Ong said something that impacted me today.He was rambling on about why Spiderman is his favourite superhero and he said," You may be alone, but you are not lonely." What an interesting fella I have there for a Chemistry teacher. He never forgets to input Civics and morals into his chemistry lessons. I'm glad that he's my teacher. His lessons are never boring though most of the time, his jokes are not exactly that funny.

Speaking of which, I'm so proud of myself today. I met my target for the series of Chemistry tests!Yep. I'm a slow climber, as always, but I'm steady. Hahs. I was aiming for a B, but well, A will do just great for me.hahas..

Alright, now it's time to let things go. I'm not playing the childish game anymore. You can run along and play with your toy set, like the many others I've said the same to. I'm not the one running in the first place anyway. Some of you just have such a myopic view of the things and people around you that will eventually lead to your downfall someday.

I'm confident of myself. It's the kind that will not waver no matter how many mean things you've said and done.

At the end of the day, it's you that I feel sorry for. Not the many others you ostracized for your selfish pleasure, but you. Because deep down, I know that you know that the one who is not a loner, but lonely has been you all along. You can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel lonely. Simliarly, I can be a loner but not feel lonely, because my heart is always contented and filled with words from those who cares for me.

2008-08-27T15:20:00.002+08:00

I am horribly disappointed at myself. I'm just an inch away from breaking down. The worst thing is, this miserable feeling stayed with me the whole day, constantly reminding me what i have failed to achieved. I think this is by far, thw worst I've performed. But what really affected me was that in fact, I studied so hard to prove to myself that i am capable of it. And i failed...again

2008-08-16T21:20:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I don't even know why this is happening.
Why people like to take me for granted, treat me like a bin for frustrations,make fun of me,say mean thing to me.
And worst of all, feed me with uncompleted stories of their lives and expect me to say anything at all.

This is so unfair.Just as life is never fair.

You are not the only one who has it bad, mine is just about the same, just under different circumstances.

"I may be wrong and you may be right, and by effort, we may get nearer to the truth."-Sir Karl Raimund Popper

PS: Got a copy of GP model essays from a top JC. I can see how it's going to help me with essay writing already.hahas.

2008-07-29T20:46:00.002+08:00

You are one of the reasons for my existence.

Behind that curtain of chatter, their laughter seems so unreal to me.
I am not at least absorbed in this distant setting.
How many a times I have wondered if fate is a cruel warlord, testing our limits till we bow down.
Have i seen too much disappointment and be blind to beauty?

Jesslyn loves Nella Chua too!
I know you'll stay strong and mighty. Just remember to fall back when you need to.
I'll be there to catch you!

I am trying to "rescue" others when i myself needs to be "rescued" too. What an irony.

2008-07-19T13:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer, To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Is it time yet?

2008-07-02T17:41:00.003+08:00

Where's everyone when you need someone to confide in?
Be it a emo day in school or just about some random person that annoys you.

There's no one afterall. They are too busy with their own lives.
And of course, I realised that most people do not mean what they say.
It could be "I'm gonna fail...I'm gonna fail..." and DANG!
They did well for their exams.
I loathe such people.
Or worst, those people who come digging their nails into your wound to make themselves feel good.

All of a sudden, I hate numbers from 1 to 100 and alphabets A-E, S and U.

I'm a dangerous volcano that is about to erupt and there's no aid coming.
I'm drowning in my own sorrow.
I'm struggling against the tides.
I'm hanging on a thin thread.
I'm bottling everything up.
I'm mad at myself for letting myself down.
and...
that's it.

I'm not going to allow this to happen again.
which is why....
I'm starting my revision tomorrow.
For, if I don't get them right,
I will forbid myself from doing the things i like.
That's my punishment for myself.
I will stick to it like super glue.

I'm doing all this the hard way for I know my little non-human friend will remain faithful by my side,above anyone else.

2008-06-15T17:22:00.001+08:00

Tag Reply to Maria:

My,my! Am i seeing jealousy here?Hahahs.
Maria, You'll always be my darling.That place is reserved for you until the right one comes along.hahas
Don't be jealous.There's no need to be.
Still,I'm amused.

2008-06-14T20:41:00.004+08:00

Jason is here.

I went shopping with them today.Though i still ended up shopping with Jason only.It's a new experience to shopping.Hahas.Mainly because we were shopping for his clothes.

Maria msged me today.She says he's my Edward for the day.Is it?

We took photo together because Maria say she want to see.Hahahs.

We are going out again tomorrow. It's nice to spend a day like that.It feels just like spending a day with my darlings.

2008-06-10T21:01:00.003+08:00

I finally realise what is it that I really want.At this point that is.

I want to ditch school.
I want to restart everything.
I want to just forget everything and let my mood decide.
I want to never worry about exams.
I want an Edward.

I know these stuff are superficial and shallow.But who doesn't wish for such stuff? Who doesn't want a fairytale ending?Who wants to be constantly reminded of their place?

Though many of these things will never come true given my personality, ranting it out makes me feel a whole lot better. I know, life goes on no matter how hard it gets. And we reap what we sow. This is the time to learn our skills, so that we can earn a good life in the future. Yes, this is no time to complain and whine like a little kid.

This is it then. No need for further discussion.It still doesn't change anything.
Time to move on.

Jason is coming over for holidays.I guess I'll be spending a nice deal of time with him.Yep.

2008-06-01T18:18:00.002+08:00

I know it's been a long time since my last update.
Well,that's because i found nothing interesting to blog about.
Life is pretty much the same everyday and i figured it's best not to blog about the mundane stuff.

Anyway,holidays are here once again.
I hope all are enjoying your holidays to the fullest,other than the fact that mid-year exams is on its way for all the JC students.

School hasn't been very pleasant lately. I guess it's beacuse of those nothing-better-to do people who can't behave in front of girls. No surprise actually,given their character.

I know you are trying,but sorry, 'trying" is not good enough to pull me out of this nightmare.
It's reality we are talking about here. And don't misunderstand, because it was never that to begin with.

I watched the trailer for TWILIGHT already. It's nice.I'm waiting in excitement for it to be in cinemas.That won't happen till December this year though. But there's the launch of Breaking Dawn,the fourth book in the twilight saga in 2 months time.Enough to make me go crazily happy about it.

I guess why this book sells is that everyone want this figment of imagination to be reality, so much so that they keep re-reading it to remember the beauty of Edward. Yes. I'm talking about Edward. Isn't he the kind of guy all the girls want to go out with?

Sad to say, this kind of guy do not exist anymore. They are EXTINCT.Gone.
Point to note: Guys nowadays are in serious need to revamp their attitude and manner.

Okay.I'll stop digressing here.

School stuff:
I've been informed by Miss Vicky that I'll be the concert master for guzheng.Hah.
Just the other day,I was thinking how difficult that position will be when i watched Miss Vicki train the current concert master. Well, now i'll have to play all the solos and lead the ensemble.So ironic.

Guess that's all for now.I'm bringing Lucky for his walk.

Take care guys!

2008-04-04T16:19:00.002+08:00

Thank you all for your warm wishes and gifts.I really appreciate them.This year's birthday have really been special. I'm really happy today.

The day started with smses from my thoughtful friends,then my classmates passed me presents. My darlings came along thereafter with a mini-sized cake,a beautifully wrapped up box, and a big card.I was like aww....so touched.While eating the tasty cake they bought,I really feel very blessed,even now as I blog. It's the simplicity of this day that made me overjoyed,to be able to witness yet again how much you guys love me. Thank you alot,alot and alot....

My class sang me both a chinese and english version of the birthday song in front of the piazza just before morning assembly.They made me stood in the middle of their circle.Lol.I was shy.So many people there.

I brought sweets for everyone today.Hahas.I received Chip and Dale, a box of ferreros and a card from Brandon and his friends.William made me a pretty namestand..So nice of him.Aloysius gave me a nice red card.Then yingchun came along and asked for my ferreros.So thick-skinned la.Hahas.Anyway,I offered them to my classmates to share.

Stupid yingchun. Drew me a card with funny sentences. But I like the characters inside. Because they are all "me"!!Hahas.

LoVE you guys.Thanks again!Ciao!

You guys really made my birthday special.

PS: Still waiting for Jason's mail.Lol.Guzheng practice was great.

2008-03-23T23:05:00.002+08:00

WHY?

WHY?WHY?WHY?

Why are you like this?
Why must you make my life miserable?
Why must you still joke about it?
Why must you make me come after you for things that I should have stopped doing long ago?

Why are you doing this to me?

WHY?

2008-03-07T21:47:00.003+08:00

It's hard to pretend not to know when you see it all so clearly.
Yes,the act of pretending. The one thing I've been so familiar with.

Look into the mirror,what do you see?
Myself.
No,look deeper.
A girl who is confident and enjoying life?
That's what others see. What do YOU see?
Someone who is good at giving neutral expressions and pretend to be ignorant?

So,what do you see?

Then again, I witness so many things everyday.
You may think I'm in the dark.
But the truth is, I'm not.
I know what you are thinking and what you want to do.
Every step of it.
For just a simple gesture,just one look,
is enough to tell me what I want to know.

Scary,isn't it?You are as bare as I know you are.

Class outing on thursday.Senior and junior class.
Not sure if I want to go.
It's at Sentosa.8.30am.
Should I go?

2008-03-01T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hello folks!I apologise for taking my own sweet time to blog.

I'm busy with school these days.Lectures,tutorials and revisions.
I'm expecting a more packed schedule for the weeks to come.

Hahs..though i didn't get into the same class as any of my darlings or fellow SJCians(which means in a class of total strangers),I'm glad to find out that my class have NICE people.People who i feel comfortable talking to and spending time with.Yep.

Oh..and the thing is, my class is full of muggers. Our slogan for class flag was, though quite unoriginal, MUGGERS UNITED!..hahas.Quite true actually.

Anyway,we had a welcoming ceremony on thursday.Our senior class pinned our college pins for us.So nice of them.Then again,the commotion for thursday was the escape of the JI detainee(i forgot his name)...So,many army officers were in school doing patrols.Brother Paul said he felt very safe to sleep at night..hahas.

Since it's the second week of school already, we got to know most of our teachers.They are a bunch of really nice people i would say,much to the envy of other classes, especially chemistry!Nice fellow we have here.

Hmm..that's all for now.Hope you guys are adapting well to JC life. Oh..and start MUGGING!hahas.

2008-02-20T21:04:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Lucky!!!!

You turned one today.

Derrick and I got him a small cake from the doggie bakery. The cake looks cute and delicious. Hahahs.

All the best to those getting transfers or waiting for appeal results.
Hope you guys can get the school you want and enjoy the two years in it as much as you can.

PS:I just hope JC life doesn't get too hectic and dizzy.

2008-02-15T00:58:00.002+08:00

It feels like a ship caught in the midst of a storm at sea.
Unpredictable and erratic.

It feels like screaming at the top of your lungs in a room full of people but no one seems to pay attention.

It feels like the suffocating suspense during a horror movie.

It feels like anywhere but a home full of warmth and love.

Why?

2008-02-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

I'm waiting in anticipation. College life will start very soon.I wonder how it will be like. All of a sudden, I feel like I'm so far away from childhood.

Oh twin, here's something for you.

The power of birth order.

After much research, researchers are now saying that birth order plays a very important role in the development of the child in the family. The eldest sibling is said to be the smartest of the other siblings in the family and the most responsible. The youngest sibling is the most adored, tries most to provoke people and also a risk-taker.. As for the middle one, they always seemed lost and finds it the hardest to fit in with the other siblings. This is simply due to the fact that unlike the firstborn, who spends at least some time as the only-child eldest, and the last-born, who hangs around long enough to become the only-child youngest, middlings are never alone and thus never get 100% of the parents' investment of time and money.

Well?Hahas. I hope that helps you understand.

The above information only serves as a theory as up till now, the birth-order debate has yet to reach a conclusion and is not entirely to be trusted. The power of birth order is adapted from TIME.

2008-01-28T23:49:00.000+08:00

After all those fuss and protests,
I came to realise that the first of it all is still my best.
People always say, no matter how long you choose,
the first of it is always the one that fate seemed to have chose for you.
It's true.
Up to this very point at least.

And as much as that sounds,
I'm happy.
I am really.

PS: I'm going to miss those days in SJC so much, especially those around me who have played an important role in helping me to be the person I am today.

2008-01-26T00:31:00.000+08:00

How come choosing a JC becomes so hard for me?
It has nothing to do with my score, just the JCs.

Anderson JC or Saint Andrew's JC?
Which one should I choose?
Both have its share of pros and cons.
Any advice?

PS:No offence to students of either school.

2008-01-24T18:47:00.000+08:00

Contented.Yup.
Just as i expected it to be.
No surprises.

Off to tuition now.

2008-01-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

New Samsung T10 Mp3!!Yay!I'll post its photograph later.

I just came back from the vet clinic. Lucky went for his 2nd vaccination. It started all fine, until it's time to take Lucky's weight. I can see he's deadly afraid of the weighing machine.Hahas.I wonder why. Then he had to take a blood test to see if he's ok to go ahead with the heartworm prevention tablet.The vet says he have to take this medication for life. One tablet every month.Hmm..The blood test was the most horrible thing. Lucky couldn't stop struggling for freedom. The nurses had to hold him firmly down so that the vet could administer the test.

Hmm..That's all for now. Bye all! Hope you folks are enjoying the first 3 weeks of PAE!!!

2007-12-31T21:02:00.000+08:00

I start my H2 Maths tuition already. The tuition class is not as horrible as I imagined it to be.Yep. I am catching up with the rest of class.

2007 will become history in a matter of hours.We will soon take a step into 2008. I think I'll skip the long New Year resolutions. What matters most to me is to feel contented and happy for 2008.And of course, to love those around me, in the same way they have cared for me.

While we watch the fireworks display tonight, take time to think about our accomplishments and the important lessons we have learned this year.

Happy New Year!!!

2007-12-28T20:55:00.000+08:00

Hello all! I went shopping for New Year's clothes with my family today. My brother bought his clothes and I bought a pair of heels. Yep. I'll go shopping for my stuff this coming week. Hahas. Usually, I don't like shopping, but New Year's coming! So everyone gets new clothes and shoes. Who else have started their New Year shopping?Lol.

We went to dine at Hip Diner USA today. It's at Bugis. The food there is really good. Then, we got to have this lucky dip upon payment. Surprisingly, the lucky dip prize they gave is not bad, or should I say we were lucky to get something each? Mum got a free main course upon 2nd purchase. Brother and I got a free waffle each. Hahas. The vouchers are still with me. So if anyone want come along next time, make an appointment with me!

Menu:)

Pictures of Hip Diner USA

Comics on the wall

My dinner. Delicious-looking?

Hmm...No one is watching Alien Vs Predator 2 with me.My click are either busy or don't want to go. So left me. Haix. Anyone want to accompany me?Leave a tag or sms me.

2007-12-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

Hello all!

Did you folks enjoy your Christmas break? Hmm...Thank you brother and my BFFs for the X'mas gifts.
I went Vivo with my click today. We watched National Treasure 2. It is definitely a great movie. Watch it if you haven't done so. It's nice being around my click today. I think I'll miss all the chat we have had.

I think I'm going to watch Alien Vs Predator 2 soon. Who want to come along?Leave a tag. Thanks.

PS: I absolutely love my sunglasses,brother!

2007-12-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

Christmas is only about two hours away.
I can't wait for it to officially arrive at the strike of twelve.

I went Christmas shopping today. Orchard was full of people with the same intention as me.
That is, to get a gift for their loved ones and friends. To me, the idea of Santa is not an old man in a red suit with a big red bag on his back. Santa is anyone who takes time and effort to show the people they love that they care through this special occasion. It can mean the preparation of a simple get-together or a short sms to spread the Christmas message. Simple, yet meaningful.

I hope you can enjoy a peaceful and heart-warming Christmas Eve.

Thank you those who took time to show that you care.

There's nothing more precious than having people who loves you or you love.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2007-12-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

I just gave Lucky a bath. Now he smells good. With the help of dog cologne of course. Well, he was naughty during the bath, I mean, which dog doesn't? They own the shadows of a child, minus the fact that they can't speak human.But if you look closely enough, you'll see that their eyes tells alot.

I can't wait for Christmas to come. I have always like the idea of Father Santa around. Too bad my parents aren't into Christams celebration. So I'll probably end up at home on Christmas Eve, opening presents from friends with Lucky. Oh, I love presents. They always give surprises.Hahas.

Hmm...Anyone want to watch National Treasure 2 with me?
Leave a tag. Thank you.

2007-12-17T21:21:00.000+08:00

I watched Alvin and the chipmunks today.They are really cute and adorable.I don't usualy go fo such movies but I love chipmunks~! They sing really well. So I'll recommend you folks to watch it. Alvin, Simon and my favorite Theordore!!!

I also went shopping for Lucky's snacks at PLC(Pet Lovers' Centre). Well there's one thing I would like to point out though. This always happens when I shop there with friends. The cashier always gave me extra change.Hahas. I corrected them each time, unless I only realised it when I go through my receipts at home.

Hmm..I guess that's all for now. Nothing very interesting is happening in my life.

Till then, Ciao!

2007-12-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

I'm getting tired.

I don't know. It just bothers me.Probably because life isn't the same as it used to be. I'm not complaining. What i seek is a meaningful and vibrant life, not one where i know that i have no particular day to look forward to.Erm, you can't count O' level results release, because that may turn out to be a horrible nightmare.hahas. Hmm..I guess i need an angel too. Someone to light up my way and brighten each day for me...

One last question for anyone who can answer.

Shouldn't friends look out for one another?

2007-12-07T00:03:00.000+08:00

He's back,back by my side.

And now, he's sitting next to me, staring at the screen with his innocent-looking eyes. I hugged him like a bear. It reminded me of how he got passed those times.He hasn't eaten for four days. I could almost imagine the cold, creepy place he was locked in. The endless barking that went by unheard, the taste of unfamiliarity still lingering in him.

His return put my unsettling heart to peace. I can touch him now, feel the softness of his fur, the smoothness of his coat, see him wag his tail happily, look into his uncertain,doubtful eyes. What touched my heart most was that I can hear him bark his cheerful bark again. My companion is back. He really is. Not just in my dream.

He's my lucky. He'll always be.

I'll always love him, always.

2007-12-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

Where on earth are you?Are you anywhere close to home?Where have you been?When are you coming back? I miss you. I'm worried for you. I want to see you all well, back in the place you should be. What happen to you? Did some meanie take you away?Or are you being trapped in some unknown, god-forsaken place?
Come home quickly.Don't let all those who dote on you worry anymore.
There's no place better than home. God, please guide him to be on his way home. This is no fun game of hide-and-seek. Don't make me wait any longer. I want to see him. Someone, send him home please, back to my embrace...Come home Lucky....I want to hear you bark again. Don't leave me....

2007-12-01T17:08:00.000+08:00

I went to bed at 5am this morning.LOL. I was on the phone with Nella. Guess how long?
it's 3 hrs 48mins and 56 secs. Broke record le.
Anyway, we were talking random(really RANDOM!) stuff.hahas. She was giving me a good long explanantion of ....hahas. I shan't mention it here. Leave it up to you folks to imagine.LOL.
I would like to thank Nella Chua for the details.Winks*. Oh and Nella, if you happen to be reading this entry, Joanne doesn't know yet....but I played the informer and told her VAGUELY.
I bet you are burning up now, please don't kill me.hahas.Joking.
Have a nice trip at Hokkaido! We'll all go out when you come back.

Hmm...I'm going for a job interview on Monday. I wonder how it'll be though. If it's successful,
i'll most probably be working for the following two months.TWO MONTHS LOL. I do hope it'll be a great experience. If you see me working at (shan't tell you where.), do remember to say hi. I love company. And please, don't be shocked. It's really ME working.hahas.

2007-11-29T15:36:00.000+08:00

Holidays are passing really slowly. Well, they used to pass by really quickly, but this time, I guess it is not. Anyway, I am still waiting(in a mixture of fear and impatience) for my O'level results. It is such a torture to have to wait that long. There is a part of me that can't wait to start school.

It is just so ironic. When I have to attend school, I hoped for holidays. Then when I finally have my holidays, I hoped for school. What to do? Hahas.

2007-11-24T22:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday...I went with my darling Maria to town for sushi buffet at Sakae. Lol. The buffet became my only source of energy for the whole day.
My breakfast,lunch,tea,dinner,supper.Erm,I don't take that many meals la.
Anyway, we ate our fill.Hahas, just to make the money worth it.

We had a great time,don't we, dear Maria?

PS: I didn't finish my udon...Maria did favour though.hahas.

2007-11-20T22:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was prom.Well, it wasn't as drama as i thought it would be, but yea, there's definitely some emotions at work somehow. Hahas. Throughout the time, people (including me and my click) were busy taking photographs. It's like you walk into a ballroom with many flashes going off randomly...someone mentioned that it looks like we are attending a fashion show, with everyone so merticulously dressed up.

A few random pictures...too many pictures will make viewing my blog very lag...

2007-11-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is November 19.That means prom is tomorrow night.That also means that tomorrow is the day we'll part our peers and leave SJC forever. I wonder if i'll cry. Maybe emotions will overwhelm me. Maybe i'll just watch others cry their hearts out.Maybe. I don't know.

Many are waiting for this sweet,yet sad day to arrive. Now that it's just minutes away, I don't know what to say. I love SJC and I love this uniform. It makes me feel sad to have to leave them behind forever. It's like knowing a strong wind is coming to blow this familarity and home feeling away, leaving a fresh layer of sand for you to start over again.

Think on the happy side.Tomorrow,everyone will be all dressed up and looking their best. There's bound to be surprises.So keep your eyes open for them.hahas.

PS: We're going to Swissotel.No gate-crashing though, sorry folks!

2007-11-15T19:13:00.000+08:00

I went to check the prom blog today.I'm so disappointed with the table seating. My best friends are all separated from me(except pamela).It so unfair. They promised that we would get to sit with our click.....Well,Ms Su is helping us ask though...Hopefully, this situation will turn for the better.Afterall, we have to sit at this table most of the time for the night.If we don't sit with our own click, there's not much fun left....

PS: Lucky is sleeping soundly as i write this entry.

2007-11-14T20:29:00.000+08:00

Hello folks! Prom's round the corner. Bet all of you are busy doing prom shopping.Well, I kind of finished mine le.hahas.I went to Bugis Junction with my mum to buy my accessories.I bought it in a set.The things there are really nice. The salesgirl said that it's a new design and it's the kind where you can wear it in a few ways.Hahas. We also bought a nail polish and some miscellanous stuff at Sasa. LOL.Mum bought me a new pair of shoes too.So nice!hahas...She also got hers too.(Two pairs leh!) Anyway, i had a wonderful time today. I'll be waiting for prom to come!

PS: I chatted with my twin till 3plus am in the morning yesterday.
The call was like 3hrs 23mins and 24secs.lol

2007-11-11T18:36:00.000+08:00

Time really passes quickly.O'levels are almost over.I wonder what kind of future beholds for me.But then again, why worry about it now?Looking at the brighter side of things,I'll have a long break ahead of me.Hahas.Just thinking of it makes me smile. Plus, there's a bonus waiting. My parents are getting me a puppy.Hurray!Hmm..I went to quite a few places to see.The pups there are no doubt adorable.Well, if there's a limiting factor, name it. It has to be HDB approved.
That means i can't get a English Cocker Spaniel.Aww..that makes me sad. I really like their long,fluffy ears. But i guess it ain't so bad afterall, I found one that's HDB approved! It's a Shetland Sheep Dog. It looks like a minature collie, but there's some difference. lol. I can't wait for the new addition to the family...hahas..

ps: i'll post its picture after i buy it.

2007-08-27T20:28:00.001+08:00

Many a times,i wondered on my way home.How much longer can i withstand this arrangement?All the way till the end or am i going to fall apart right here at this spot. I haven't actually been myself lately.The papers have been rather overwhelming, probably to the extent that at times, i just stop writing halfway through the paper and stare into space. That, of course, does not include the numerous times where i practically not do anything and allow myself to be distracted from the hectic schedule.
But yet, at times, i'm rather amazed at how long i've held on to this arrangement week after week. Where did i managed to get the strength to tell myself not to give up though it seemed like a far-fetched lie?Hahas.
I feel sick whenever i see that schedule of mine.Maybe because i'm always behind it.It's not like i want to, but i couldn't continue on that subject for that matter.
Arghhh....i want to be on track.But how to when i get never-ending tasks?.....

2007-08-03T15:46:00.000+08:00

Time passed really quickly.It's been quite a while since i last wrote an entry.
Many things have come and go almost too quickly.
Full-speed mugging season have arrived.
Prelims are almost over.
Soon, the discussion of results will follow.

And, many will recall the familiar conversation,
"How did you do for [subject]?" she says.
**smiles[a forced smile or beaming]
"A is it?Aiya...confirm one la...."answers her own question.
**continues to smile.
"Oie, so how much did you get?" she asked, a tint of frustration evident in her tone.
And this conversation will be never-ending unless you tell her.....

Alternatively,
"Ok?Satisfied?" she gives you a comforting smile.
**smiles[a forced smile or beaming]
She will identify the type of smile.
And she will not ask any further,.
But she will tell you, "I'll be there if you need anything."

A understanding friend will wait for you to share, not force you to share.
How good a friend are you?

Before i end this entry,
Happy Birthday Twin!!!You are sixteen already!!!

2007-06-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

Hello people!

With regards to the issue of ME not doing enough revision for the upcoming school term,
This blog shall be abandoned till i feel that i have done enough to prepare myself.(which equals to forever?)

No worries. I'm not crazy as to deprive myself of entertainment.I'm only on the verge of doing that.(So, do i require medical attention immediately?)

Two and a half weeks more to school reopens,people!
Keep your faith and determination strong!
Study hard, play hard, laugh harder.

Don't forget to do the chem papers we just received.

2007-05-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

I've never felt so lost before.
I do know the stakes.
That's the reason.

At some point, i thought i've had it all planned out.
But just a minute ago, it doesn't seem so to me.
This is plain mind-torture.It rewinds and rewinds and rewinds....

I get all fussed up whenever i consider the possible consequences.
I thought i could get this thing off me once the year is over.
But it seemed bleak to me now.
I kept asking myself, How the world did i land myself in this situation?

I know i just couldn't.It's too much pressure for me.Even now.
And to know what is going to take place is a nightmare.

But, if i were to prevent this from happening,
i have to give my choice up.

You are the urchin all along.Makes me shudders at your presence.

2007-05-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i went to attend the South West Young Leaders' Day 2007 at Ngee Ann Polytechnic Convention Centre. We've got many speakers speaking to us on the issue of leadership and the theme, "Own Your World". It is closely linked with environmental issues concerning the world and Singapore. Lots of geography stuff...They showed us parts of videos that depicts different qualities of a leader.Very engaging and educational.

"Leadership is about influencing others positively".

I agree!

At the end of the day, i brought home many inspirations. It made me think hard.
I suppose those who went would agree with me.
I'll take time to share a quote and reflection from the convention for every post i make in time to come.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I expressed great displeasure when others tell me where i am, what i should be getting and what i am getting instead.
I dislike the sacarsm.
Haven't you notice the obvious change in atmosphere?
Haven't you give it a slight thought?

Or perhaps you have misunderstood me greatly.
I should have listen to my brain instead, not my heart.
It will only complicate things.
If you feel that i'm just getting in your way,tell me.
I will let go graciously without a word.

My brain tells me to just concentrate on my goals.
My heart tells me to just take it as a passing remark.

I am going to let you be.

2007-05-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

Just when i was about to lose myself within that mist i have created,
God gave me hope.or did i gave that to myself?
that doesn't really matter.

an A1 for Additional Mathematics.
Enough to help me pass this week without feeling too depressed.

thank you.

The eyes of God decorated the otherwise dull night sky.
An earthling stood rooted to her spot, wondering if she could ever be like the shining stars.

2007-05-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

You couldn't have strength without weakness;
You couldn't have light without dark;
You couldn't have love without loss;
You couldn't have life without death;
You couldn't have success without failure;
You couldn't have warmth without cold;
You couldn't have laughter wiithout tears;

You couldn't have one without the other.

Perhaps afterall, i'm just chasing a mirage.
How many times have that disappointment settle itself on me.
i've lost count.

Life is sometimes so unfair.
It gives you something and takes away another.
It has always been so thus far.

Have i really been too hard on myself?
I kept pushing myself to my maximum,
just hoping that i could be like them,
even if it takes away my leisure.
I'll do just so.

But what do i get in the end?
Just more unhappiness in my life.
This is just not up to my standard.
No matter how much others tell me i have improved.
No matter how many marks i've achieved compared to the previous.

It lacks self-satisfaction.
That is the greatest reward.
And sad to say, i don't get it.

I'm plain angry at myself.
Why can't i when i have done what is ought to be completed?
While others didn't?

It is as if my life just revolves around there.
Emptiness is what i see.

2007-05-12T13:40:00.000+08:00

Mid-years are finally over!
Hahas. I kept to my promise.
No using of computer for the exam period.
That explains why..heh

Anyway folks,
go watch Bridge to Terabithia and Spiderman 3.

Bridge to Terabithia,
If you like Chronicles of Narnia, you enjoy this one.
It shows something deeper than just image and fantasy.

Spiderman 3,
well if you are in for an action-packed afternoon,
you definitely have to watch this..

Ok.Shall stop here. If not you'll think i'm a movie advertiser.
lol.

PS:I got my Mother's Day present already!

2007-04-26T20:52:00.001+08:00

New blogskin.hahs.
It may take a while before i have time to update.

2007-04-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

I didn't get a chance to update yesterday..so here it goes...

We had our 5th Student Council Investiture.
promotion to mentor?
lots of handshakes and laughter.
use of com sets made us look like security officers,
which happened to be so cool.

And we have student leaders from many schools over as guests.
Saw quite a number of my friends.hahas.
There was lots of fun everywhere,
minus the teasing that i got.-.-

But what's the most important is,
everyone enjoy themselves.
I second to that!

2007-04-23T20:46:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the day.
The long awaited day,yet ironically,the most dreaded day.
It leaves me at a loss of what's the most rational thing to do.
Though i never once spoke to anyone in particular how much it means to me,
knowing what's going to happen tomorrow,
delivering my final address to the school,
final podium duty,
last day of my term of office,
leaves a tingling feeling.

It's like losing a mentor, a friend.
terrible but inevitable.

I guess it's time to move on,
to another dimension of life?

May your angel watch over you forever,
to wipe your tears and hear your sorrows.

It will be a new beginning altogether.

Good luck for tomorrow!

1 day left..Adieu it will be...

2007-04-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

A new Samsung D900!Hahas.

Will update soon!

2007-04-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

The first thought that struck me was,
"How can you say such a thing?"
Go be your fan for all i care.Don't come accusing people of originality.
I don't need to copy anything from anyone.
You are at your emotional inbalance thing again.
You have my condolences.

I'm munching an apple now.heh.

7 days left.

2007-04-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

CA1 Results are out again. Heheh.
I'm doing fine.No worries.No hiccups.

Come to think of it,
It has been a long time that i have had any time for reflections.
The hectic schedules and mind-taxing "high alert 24/7"
Well, it was a great experience upon looking back.
It develops my PR skills,trains my mind to work under stress etc.
Maybe that's why.hahas.

Think about the times i have missed with my friends,
the leisure and entertainment i didn't get to enjoy,
the difficult choices to make,
the rationale behind everything i must see,
the uncomfortable situations i had to face,
the tactics i chose to deal with the urchins(Arghh!).

It will all come to an end very soon.
Studies have always been my top priority.
Deep inside me, I know i'm getting there bit by bit.
It is happening now.

11 days left to farewell.

2007-04-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

For those who did not make it through,
do not be disappointed.
Leadership does not limits to where you failed to achieve.

For those who have made it through successfully,
congrats!
You have lots to achieve in the new term of office.
Do the council proud.
Do not hesitate to ask for advice.
We will be more than willing to help.

Like what Maria always says,
"Dreams are like the clouds floating in the sky,if you do not reach out for them,
they'll float away someday, far beyond your reach."

P.S:I'm done with my speech!Yayness!

2007-04-08T22:12:00.000+08:00

It's almost time to bid farewell, my old friend.
Cherish the remaining days together.
Reminisce those heart-warming times,
relive the passion of service that kept us going.
For after we say adieu,
we will not cross paths again.
You will always have a place in my heart,
my greatest mentor of all.
The teachings and skills will follow me
with the many years to come.
You've grown to be an important part of my life.
You are so precious that i couldn't imagine
what it will be like without you by my side,
guiding me through my fears.

I'll miss you dearly.Yes i will. Till then...

2007-04-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

She sits in one corner silently,observing the crowd.
What is it that is so difficult to understand?she thought.
Was it reluctance to comply?Or the lack of rationale?

It was more disappointment each time.
The faith has withered in the coming of winter.
The confidence gave way to weakness, like the leaves turn yellow.
The trust slides off the tip of the leaves like morning dew.

If this was such, would you say you are a good companion and co-partner?
The answer is for you to find out.

2007-04-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

I'm offically sixteen today!lol.

Thank you all for the presents and countless wishings.

Special thanks to:
-Maria, Jiaxin and my beloved twin for their "love" letters.
-Esther and Raudah(My Mao Family)
-Joanne , Vivien, Pamela
-My dear brother for his two novels(didn't expect that from him)
& my parents.

You guys really made my day. You guys made it special for me.
THANK YOU LOADS!!!!xD

2007-04-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

I'm turing sixteen tmr!
Here's my wishes for this year...

1) Desired O'level L1R5
2) Happiness for everyone.
3) Hmm..can't tell you...it's a secret...heheh

Yup.That's all.

Happy birthday to those who shares this special day with me!

Have fun!

2007-04-02T16:37:00.000+08:00

I'm staring blankly into the screen now.
Nothing goes into my head.
Not the additional maths qns that i did just a minute ago.
Neither is the the ten-year series list that i've planned.
It's just a straight mono line playing over and over again.
Almost like a faulty electrical appliance.

Was that a result of built-up stress?
or was that an act of my rebellious attitude
which had finally broke free?
Or worse, the first sign of depression and insanity?

Too many questions and unsatisfied answers.
I guess i'm too tired to know what are the do's and don'ts now.
I'll just shut my eyes and block all that out.

Ride the winds and soar the sky......

2007-03-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

Let's see...

You must be wondering what am i doing here on Saturday Night?
(for those who don't know..Sat night is the time where i chiong my maths)

Well, the answer is plain simple, isn't it?
It means i finished my maths early!
It's a good thing.yup.
Shall make it a point to finish them early every week.

Well, it's less than a hour away from April's Fool.
Hahah. Means a lot for the jokers.

Hmm..it also means i'm turning 16 soon.
4th April! Hint!**

I'm looking forward to it.

2007-03-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hahas.Turns out you guys are wrong.
On second thought, maybe not totally.

Life is still the usual. Not much changes.
school.council.home.

4 weeks left. Cherish the last bit.
Don't give yourself another reason for regret.

2007-03-26T20:47:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday was 6th Awards Ceremony.I'm down on duty of course.
But it was rather fun. I mainly urshered the GOH and presented the token of appreciation.
It's the normal things you will see me do...

Then i saw all the butterflies and flowers.Almost like a garden....
It was done already...
and it stays as long as the school exists,
and i'm happy.

Kudos to Maria and Jiaxin as council's photographer,

I'm still waiting for replies....

2007-03-21T22:22:00.000+08:00

The invites are out!!! Hahas. Everyone says the final editing looks nice...
Of course la...WE spent a great deal of time cropping and testing the print....
Frankly speaking...It's professional printed.

KUDOS TO
Jiaxin & Maggie for their superb cropping and cutting skills,
Maria for her elegant and cursive handwriting,
Pamela & my twin for their effort in searching for the schools' address.
Elaine, Rebecca,Joanne,Mano who stayed back till 7pm to help out in the busy events.

I feel so blessed today. There's so many people who makes my life just like a cup of pearly soyabean...if you know what it means...hahas

This goes to say many things.
It would soon be one month away.
Then that would mark the end of my council journey in SJC....

But one thing i'm sure of.
That is i will miss the experience terribly...

2007-03-19T15:32:00.000+08:00

and she said,
"You don't know me, you don't even care."
That would be a Grammy Award winning line.

Perhaps, i've shown the tendency of worrying too much.
But i definitely wouldn't want to worry my life away.

It often puzzles me. Was it because i was being too lenient on myself?
No, lenient would not be a word that can be found in my dictionary.
Or was it because i am simply too burned out to concentrate?
Focus. Don't think about what the results will be.
Is it that easy to achieve?I don't think so.

I just can't help thinking about how am i to cope when that fateful day decides to creep up on me,
catching me off-guard, and to a certain extent,
helpless.

I kept wondering.
Is it because i can't find the true "me" within me?
That always make me feel i had to push myself,
force myself to do the necessities?

All i know is that,
I can't get pass a day
without doing something off the basket.

Was it for some emotional balancing?
The usual me.

Responsibilites demand commitment.
Commitment comes with dedication.
Dedication requires passion.
Passion comprises of...
everything i ever know.

Therefore, passion stops me each time from
burying myself in misery.
It gives me the drive to move on, as i derive satisfaction from within.

However, when have i ever i found satisfaction from mugging?
None.
It's the inner "me" who is acting up again.
Not a healthy sign indeed.

I resist the urge to tell the world to
leave me alone and let me be gone
with whatever that comes my way.
No, that must never be told.

It's like a secret meant to be kept within the walls of "me".
Now, by posting it up here.
Haven't i just told it to everyone who reads this blog?

Sorry there.
This is my only source of balancing out.
Just let it be as it should be.....

Thank you for hearing me out again....

2007-03-15T21:27:00.000+08:00

Of all the busy day....I finally get a day out with none other than

My MAO Family....

Lol....

My shoes spoiled and i got a new pair from Heeren..

And then we have "Kao's Act"...evil laughs**

And Rau's misfortunate happening...

Dun worry..Nothing too alarming

We watched Blood and Chocolate...
It's a nice movie...

On screens starting today...

but only at Cathay....

We went to take Neoprint...

Then we went starbucks for coffee/chocolate...

Then we went home...

HAPPILY...

2007-03-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

You know what?
I expected this to happen.
But i chose to believe the rational side.
One that knows the difference.(I guess you can't..)
Disappointment awaits me everytime.

Urchin is being selfish by doing so.
And it is always sceptical.

Urchin can choose not to listen, not like it ever did.
If urchin cannot even figure out what are the do's and don'ts,
I suggest it just remain silent.

Ever heard of the phrase, "Silence is golden"?
Well, it definitely applies to it.
That's urchin being supercilious and superficial.

And if urchin only want to hide the bad and announce the good.
I say there's no need to.
I mean, where can you hide?
You are just a black ball of spikes.(That's why)

It's the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

2007-03-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

It's all getting difficult to manage
when a simple gesture just changes the whole outlook.
This is especially true when we are all drained out.

"Live in the present, for it is what makes us wonder about tomorrow."

PS: Hey there,thank you for that sweet message.It really gave me a boost for this tiresome week.

2007-03-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

March holidays are here again.
You people must remember to take care of yourself yea?
Don't fall sick.

I've got a busy March holiday....

Mon: Learning Journey,Exco Meeting
Tues: CIP,Exco Meeting
Wed: Social Etiquette
Thurs: Physics Practical,Science Tuition
Fri: Nothing yet..Means I can do TYS!
Sat: Nothing yet...Can do more TYS!
Sun: A & E maths Tuition

PS: I've got to do my school homework everyday as well.

It seems that i can't really say that i have a holiday.lol.
I'm trying not to over-stress myself
which seems difficult.hahas.

SAINT ELIZABETH WON THE HOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP...HURRAY!

2007-03-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

Well, it's the "urchin business" again.
It just refuse to cooperate.
Thank goodness it's just one.
Cause i'm definitely not in my best state to deal with any number more than that.

Plain stubborn,obnoxious creature.
That's so hypocrital.
It's a simple thing but you had to kick up a big fuss over it.
Do you know how hard it has been for us to be neutral?
especially when we are all worn out?

Perhaps, i should just look at the other way.
The hour-glass is running low.
Should it fail to recover in time,
then i guess it wouldn't make any much difference after that.

If the mind comes round,
then it should realise,
how selfish it has been to the rest who don't deserve such treatment.

Oh ya, Maria and Kao said i was mad yesterday,
for doing the whole chapter of trigonometry TYS for the Class test.
They said i worked too hard for the results.Hahas.
I just don't want to fail myself.Lol.

CA1 progress report is out...all distinctions except physics.
Haix,it just spoiled my beautiful page. That's just so random.lol.

2007-03-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

Why can't we have 48hours a day?
Then i'll have more time for my stuff.
Both public and personal.
Then i probably wouldn't miss out so many things.

Read the papers today.
I definitely belong to the "muggers".lol
Okayy.That's so random.

2007-03-04T22:19:00.000+08:00

new blogskin.new stuff.yep.

2007-03-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

My Commomwealth essay was chosen to represent class!lol.
Didn't think it will pass the 2nd round,but it did nonetheless.
Yup.I am happy for myself.
Hmm..even if it isn't chosen to be one of the four to represent school.
I'm contented already.

But then, i can't make it for comprehension.
So it kinda pulls the mark straight down.Haix.
I know something must be done. And that means NOW.
lol.

Yes, no doubt. I'm over-stressing myself.
But i think this method works on me.For now at least.
I just can't let a day pass by without gaining new stuff in my brain.

I know my priorities la. So you'll probably see me mug everyday.
hahas.

2007-02-24T22:59:00.000+08:00

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

There's too many uncertainties in life. It always comes out unexpected, sneaking up on us with much surprise. No foolproof preventive measures can be taken. The best preventive measure we have with us is to live life as fully as possible and make the best out of each day.

Look around you.How many of them is actually living life fully?I dare say i'm not one of them but at least i didn't contribute to the pollution from the inner demon within oneself. It just need more self-control to stop the demon in you from unleashing. It's not all talk, no action.

Just stop yourself from doing things that logic and rationality would condemn. It will definitely make you a happier person. It's a gradual change in you. Don't stick to the old-fashioned "my way" policy.

-End-

2007-02-22T22:15:00.000+08:00

You urchins have a serious in-need-of-assistance paradigm.
You urchins never heed advices.
You urchins never listen.
You urchins never thought of protecting the welfare.
You urchins never thought of the consequences.
You urchins just want to end up hurting yourself and others.
You urchins just want to be be led on to a road of death.
What's worse,you urchins can't think with a logical and rational brain.

It seems that you urchins never repent.
You urchins should consider thinking and making the right decision and perspective.
Because it sure doesn't do anyone any good in that.

Just one piece of advice,though you don't listen,
If you are thinking and feeling great because of what hypocrites say to you,
THINK AGAIN. It is definitely not because you are better than anyone.
The fact that they are labelled hypocrites have already proven their words can't be trusted.
You are being used as a tool and as a stepping stone.Nothing is sadder than that.
Once you are of no use, you will end up being thrown away like a used tissue paper.
Crushed and neglected.
That's why you haven't any true friends.Cut the act.
Sadly,those hypocrites just cancelled out each other.

You urchins have two choices.
One, reflect and make changes.
Two, remain status quo and never find truth in anything.

I've said my piece.It's your choice to decide.

PS: Don't think i don't know what's happening on my back. I may not be there physically, but my resources are wide and you'll be shocked at how much i knew. Even if you don't get it on the spot, there's always tomorrow....

2007-02-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

So how was Chinese New Year for you guys?Busy visiting?
Well,i was kept busy throughout.
Got loads of stuff to settle,
mainly because i didn't go to school for two days.
And i've got
people asking me,telling me,warning me to come back.
The reason shall not be disclosed here.
Mwahahas.

But i found something interesting though.
It's something i don't really believe in.
There's this young guy,living in my mum's friend's hostel,
17 to be exact, who can read a person's fate by looking at their palms.
Man left,women right.
He is really very accurate.No lies.
He can see our(meaning teenagers)
palm for us, and he'll know whether we can perform well in study or not,in the future i think.

Initially, i thought it was rather fun to try out.
But realisation hit me.
What if he say i wouldn't perform?
Isn't that going to be nagging at me for dunno how long?
Will i feel depressed?Will i feel the world tumbling down?

Hmm..i guess not knowing the answer is better,
so i shan't think about it. Afterall, i'm still so young.
How would you feel if you are told that you wouldn't
achieve something big in life?

And my badge is finally here.thank you loads!

2007-02-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh...i've just been reminded,by none other than myself, that i've got loads to catch up for the upcoming week.

Let's see,there's
invests coming up,
tests to take,
more tys to do,
tuition homework to battle with(perhaps not so..exaggeration..bleah!),
more external relations to concern myself with

basically..normal school life.

Yes,yes.I know that.
I can't spent my time unwisely.
It's almost like my other self is nagging at me the moment i'm not doing anything or when i'm thinking. Sometimes rather amusing,really.Bet loads of you have got this kind of experience.Hey,i'm talking serious.

That's where all the laughter came in.
Whenever i try to do something serious,(that would mean total ignorance to anyone around me)
i would get distractions.hah.
Hmm..i remember the famous quote from Maria.
"You must ZHEN XI Maria, so you must...blah..blah..blah.."
This is never-ending.It's a line she always say.lol.
Makes me smile each time.Well,what can i say?She got a knack for that.
And that's enough for distracting me.hahas.

Then last year,we have this from her.
"If you don't...blah..blah...blah, i'll poke your eye!"
lol. That's Maria for you.

Then we have her company,joining in for a share for laughter.
Evil grins**

2007-02-17T16:02:00.000+08:00

I'm suffocating from the inside.
I wish for this terrible,horrible,mind-torturing nightmare
to end.

There's always two sides to a coin.
I happened to land on the bad side now.
Arranging...arranging and more arranging.
Is that what i suppose to do?
Be a clerk?

If that's the case,
I'm never going to be a clerk for as long as i live.
Mwahhaha...

Lastly, wanna wish everyone

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

When the music stops,
are you still there?
Or have you gone with the wind?
Leaving behind only specks of dust
to accompany this lonely night....

2007-02-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

For these two days, i've got some company.
cough,flu,sore throat.
And my voice is on and off.
I can't speak clearly at times.

If there is an oral exam,
this is the most sucidal to me.

I can't believe i actually missed 3 tests today.
English.Chinese.A maths.
Can't wait to lay my hands on those papers....

2007-02-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

Checked the board today.
No extra lessons for me.Yayness!

My TYSs are almost finishing.
That goes to say i am ready to start on prelim papers.
It seemed so fast-paced to me.
almost like i'm taking prelims in 1 month,
when it's just February.

No, I am not procrastinating.
I mean it.I will do them la.
To prepare myself for the challenge,
and reach my target.

Hmm...I'm going to see where i can get
other schools' prelim papers.
If you guys have, tell me kay?
I need them. hahas.

2007-02-05T15:50:00.000+08:00

My brain malfunctioned for the whole of today.
I can't think logically.
I'm practically dragging myself and my soul to every lesson i had.
This irritates me a lot.
My concentration level dropped tremendously
and yet i'm forcing myself to think even harder.
Well,i can't afford not to,
right?

I just want to go into the JC i want la.....

MAKE IT OR BREAK IT.

It's a verdict that everyone knows,
and they are afraid of hearing it.